Love is not a feeling, but it is a commitment. When you “fall in love”, it’s more about what you have in common, time you’re spending together, friendship, companionship and of course, the physical chemistry that you have with each other. These are all important in a marriage, however the most important thing is the sincere commitment that you make to each other. This may not be what most people consider romantic love, but without it, your future together will, most likely be very short. Why, you ask? Life gets in the way. You will go through difficult times in your life together. It’s hard to be “romantic” when money is tight or illness becomes a part of your life together or you don’t agree about how to discipline the children. I could go on and on with the difficulties that tend to pop up in our lives, but this post is about how to make sure that your relationship is solid and ready for anything that comes!
There are also times in your life together, when he/she irritates you or their hobbies or interests don’t mesh with yours anymore. As time goes by and we get older, we do change and sometimes we begin new careers or it seems that your lives are going in opposite directions. When these things happen, if you’ve made a true commitment, not based on feelings, you can get through all these obstacles. You’ve heard people say, “we fell out of love”. This is really a ridiculous statement, it’s really that one or more of the things I mentioned above has happened. This is the reason for “commitment”!
My husband and I have been married for over 25 years now and we’ve been through many difficult things together, but our love/commitment to each other stands firm and our relationship is stronger because of these difficulties that we’ve shared. I could never tell you everything in this blog, but someday in a memoir. We’ve been through extreme financial difficulties, disagreements about where to live, infertility, not to mention the adoption of our boys from Ukraine. So, whether you’re just in love or your engaged, or maybe you’re even married, I hope and pray this helps guide you in making the right decisions for your life and theirs. From a personal standpoint, I can say that this commitment is extremely important, to the success of your marriage. So, remember these things and be on the lookout in the future for our memoir.
My husband and I celebrated our 25th anniversary on July 21, 2015. I can still remember when we fell in love, like it was just yesterday. We were both freshmen at the same college and we ended up with the same group of friends, but I was too busy flirting with the other guys in our group. I had dated or been in a relationship with one after another, since I was about 15. I didn’t allow myself to be alone. My freshman year at college, I began to feel like I’d never find my soul mate and I was frustrated, to say the least. So, I began to pray, Lord please either send me my future husband now or if I’m not to be married, help that desire to go away. I was through with the idea of just dating for fun. Then, I found this writing titled, “On His Plan For Your Mate”. Now, I’d like to share it with you. So, if you’re in the same situation that I was, read this, it helped me and I’m sure it will help you also.
“Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone-to have a deep soul relationship with another, to be loved thoroughly and exclusively. But, God, to a christian says, “No, not until you are satisfied and fulfilled and content with living loved by Me alone. I love you, my child, and until you discover that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found, you will not be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you. You will never be united with another until you are united with Me-exclusive of anyone or anything else, exclusive of any other desires and longings. I want you to stop planning, stop wishing and allow Me to give you most thrilling plan existing-one that you can’t imagine, I want you to have the best. Please allow Me to bring it to you-just keep watching Me, expecting the greatest thing-keep experiencing that satisfaction knowing that I am. Keep learning and listening to the things I tell you…you must wait.
Don’t be anxious, don’t worry, don’t look around at the things others have gotten or that I’ve given them. Don’t look at the things you think you want…you just keep looking off and away up to Me, or you’ll miss what I want to show you.
And then, when you’re ready, I’ll surprise you with a love far more wonderful than any would ever dream. You see, until you are ready and until the one I have for you is ready, I am working, even this very minute to have both of you ready at the same time. Until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me and the life I have prepared for you, you won’t be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me…and this is perfect love.
And dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love, I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with Me, and to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty and perfection and love that I offer you with Myself, know I love you utterly. I am God Almighty, Believe and be Satisfied.” author unknown